Overcoming Fear of the One-Way Door
One challenge I've faced as referee is awareness of the reversibility of my decisions. When I started my AD&D campaign, I was very much wrapped up in wanting to understand AD&D deeply so I could provide the "correct" experience for my players. When something came up I didn't know the answer to, I was hesitant to make a ruling, for fear of setting a precedent. I built up a huge "to-do" list of things to look up, and often postponed my answers to players before I checked enough "sources." This to-do list has never been completely emptied since its creation, I think, and still has several items in it. This is because it's actually not urgent to figure out the "right" rule, as along as we have some rule, and we can change that rule if you realize a better one. The group must understand that rulings do not set precedents. Also, referees will realize with experience that most of the "sources" available are worse – or at least no better – than something they can come up with intuitively. Of course, assuming that they've read their game's rulebook and understand its spirit.
Accepting that we can improve a rule at any time, and believing in yourself, are two of the earliest steps we must take as referees. These are critical for personal happiness, and for game flow. We must be able to make rulings, and also rules (temporary as they may be), to best provide for the flow of the game. These rules don't need to be perfect immediately, because rules aren't a one-way door. We can always change a rule. Anyone who doesn't let you change a rule will be incompatible with your group.
Rules are a two-way door. But so is the game world. "Retcon" is a dirty word to some, but this practice was actually built-in to D&D. In original D&D, we find a clear suggestion to erase, replace, and extend dungeon sections. But we also must not fear "retconing" things even more blatant. We must know and believe that we as referees have the ability to delete or change an entire event, person, place, or thing, if it's best for the game. If we don't believe this, then it's easy to fall into fear of making a "world-breaking mistake," which can lead to bad game flow and creative stagnation.
Maybe the idea that "I can do whatever I want" is obvious to other people, and maybe I agreed with it on the surface, but I don't think I always believed it. Any time I didn't know the "right rule," it felt like a shortcoming. Today, I realize that's just part of the genre. Any time I had to decide something major about the campaign, I over-thought it. Today, I pick what seems good to me, and if I think of something better, I change it or act differently next time. All this is just part of the game. Part of backgammon is luck. Part of refereeing is guessing.
Maybe some readers are thinking to themselves, "Ahh, he's telling everyone they can flop their game around to-and-fro, completely disregard game cohesion, and ignore rules!" I'm not saying that. I'm saying you should not be afraid to make mistakes. There is no serious cost to these mistakes, and in fact you actually profit from them because they increase your skill. And they show your players that you're a leader who will take charge of the game and will happily revise past decisions for the game's well-being. Anyone who gives you a hard time about these things is incompatible with your game.
So what one-way doors are there? They're actually all social. Game things can always be adjusted, that's a beauty of it. But if you're mean to someone in your group, you can't take that back. So you should always strive to make your campaign a place of Good Stress, like when your players get dropped into the ol' Cube Pit. Classic. You don't want the Bad Stress, like when the referee is kinda on edge all the time worried about making a mistake. That's living in fear, and fear is a game-killer.
